Moe

Full name: Moe Szyslak

Specalizes in serving: Duff Beer

Trusts: No one

Cost of a Flaming Moe: $6.95

Bane of his Exsistance: Bart's prank calls

Heritage: Claims his forefathers were bartenders to the Czar

Prank calls: I.P Freely, Amanda Huggenkiss, Jacques Strap, B.O. Problem, Homer Sexual, Hugh Jass, Pat Magroin, Mike Rotch, Ivana Tinkle, Isabele Ringing, Wayne King, Phil McCrackin, Anita Bath, Oliver Klothesoff, Stu Pidass, and Al Choholic

Shames: His roots don't stay chestnut on their own

Failed Ventures: The Flaming Moe once Homer revealed the secret ingrediant. Turning the bar into "Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag" restaurant. Motto: "If Moe's not smiling when the check comes, the meal is on the house." Too often he wasn't actually smiling. 'Nuff said.